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Paris Hilton buys a Rolls-Royce
Monday, Paris Hilton bought a $300,000 Rolls-Royce. Monday, I bought Ramen noodles and pilfered some hot sauce from Taco Bell. Shh. I have a reputation to uphold here.
Competitive eater Joey Chestnut has balls
Joey Chestnut shoved 43 balls in his mouth. (Catch up, Paris, you look like an amateur.) Chestnut is a competitive eater and the balls – well, they were meat. In 10 minutes the man scarfed 43 big meatballs down in … Continue reading
Posted in Hollywood Headaches
Tagged competitive eater, heart disease, joey chestnut, meatballs, paris hilton, Vegas
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Paris’ plea, puhlease
Paris Hilton pleaded guilty to drug possession on Monday for her August cocaine arrest in Vegas. Gosh, it seems like just yesterday that the felonious female was birthed out of my delinquent uterus. (I was a drunken, whorish toddler.) Anyway, … Continue reading
Paris busted for cocaine in Vegas
Good ol’ Pareeeee was busted for having cocaine in her purse in Vegas over the weekend. I’m almost as shocked as when I saw Lady Gaga in pants last week. Paris Hilton was with her herpes-flavor-of-the-week when cops detected “the … Continue reading
Ellen DeGeneres is starting her own record label. And why not?
In the music industry, experience is totally optional, Victoria Beckham. I won’t even “ahem” that. Then again, talent isn’t really needed in the comedy industry either, ahem, Dane Cook. Oh, and the acting industry too! Kate Hudson, Matthew McConaughey, Jean-Claude … Continue reading
Posted in Hollywood Headaches
Tagged actors, Chris Klein, comedian, Dane Cook, David Caruso, eleveneleven, Ellen DeGeneres, Greyson Chance, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Kate Hudson, Keanu Reeves, Lady Gaga, Lindsay Lohan, Matthew McConaughey, Miley Cyrus, paparazzi, paris hilton, Paul Walker, record label, Steven Seagal, Tori Spelling, Victoria B, Victoria Beckham, Vin Deisel
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Paris Hilton, my summer plans are better than yours
Paris Hilton has revealed her summer “must have.” A yacht. She also revealed her bikini-filled summer destinations to Us Weekly. “I’m going to St. Tropez, Monaco. I’ll be working as well, but a lot of relaxing.” Please. That is so … Continue reading
Posted in Hollywood Headaches
Tagged bikini, Commerce City, El Camino, Hollywood Headaches, Littleton, Monaco, must have, paris hilton, St. Tropez, Stapleton, summer plans, yacht
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Britney Spears drops Jason Trawick as her agent, but not as her boyfriend
Britney Spears is canning her boyfriend Jason Trawick – but just as her agent. “[Britney and Jason] have decided to end their professional relationship and focus on their personal relationship,” a rep for Britney said in a statement to Access … Continue reading
Paris is, like, totally over Doug Reinhardt
In “We don’t give a piss about your breakup” news: Paris Hilton apparently dumped Doug Reinhardt two weeks ago, and OMG, she is like, so over him. She, like, totally just wants to date a guy who loves her for … Continue reading
This Ke$ha broad is odd
So, I don’t even really know who this Ke$ha broad is, but she kind of cracks me up. The L.A.-born, Nashville-bred singer, who is apparently the next Lady Gaga, was talking to Us Weekly about a variety of interesting subjects. … Continue reading
Posted in Hollywood Headaches
Tagged Ke$ha, Kesha, neclace, paris hilton, party, placenta, Prince, Us Weekly
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Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt do Aspen
Did you see all those Hazmat homies around Aspen recently? The town had to be disinfected due to king and queen STD in town. Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt recently virused around Aspen in boots with the fuuuur and goggles. … Continue reading
Posted in Hollywood Headaches
Tagged Aspen, Doug Reinhardt, Mariah CArey, paris hilton, STDs
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