On TLC’s last night’s “You Ask, Kate Answers,” (then we all swim in urine, because that would be more fun) she gabbed about 99 percent of things I could care less about — one being she wants to act in a movie.
Ha!
That’s all.
No it’s not.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Jon Gosselin allegedly removed $200,000 from he and Kate’s joint bank account, leaving $1,000 for Kate.
This came right after a big “epiphany” he shared with Larry King.
One day, “I looked in the mirror and I said, ‘I don’t want to be this person anymore,’” Jon said.
I actually had a pretty life-changing epiphany soon after.
I looked [...]

“Project Runway” winner Christian Siriano told Us magazine that he and Kate Gosselin’s similar haircut is the new “Rachel” — Jennifer Aniston’s popular ’90s style from “Friends.”
Yes. Just like green is the new orange. And 63 is the new 22. And chupacabra is the new dog.

Poor Jon Gosselin just wants to lead a normal life.
“I wish I had a 9 to 5 job instead of the nightmare I’m living. This is 24/7,” Gosselin told Us Weekly. “I don’t even want to do taping for the show anymore.”
Jon, do not tease me.
Oh, you totally would. Save that cartwheel, friends.
He said he [...]

Bitch, please. This was Victoria Beckham’s haircut like 10 years ago. Nice try.
Maybe Heather can braid Kate’s spikes while stashing any found cash around the house into her bra.

Jon Gosselin said he doesn’t want to have to explain photos to his kids (or ex) when they Google him.
Oh, Jon. Dearest Jon.
Perhaps this concern would have encountered more appropriate timing before the exploitation of said small children for monetary gain.
But not so fast critics! Everything is going to be just fine. Gosselin has taken [...]

This is seriously a news item on the E! Web site front page, as reported by Ken Baker:
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Things got a little too hairy for Kate Gosselin over the weekend. Luckily, that’s one part of her life that’s a quick fix.
The maritally challenged reality star hasn’t lost her signature spikey ‘do (fear not, fans), but she [...]