Monthly Archives: September 2010

Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson throw a teenage rave

Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson threw their 14-year-old son a raging rave for his birthday. The party was shut down three times by cops. He’s 14! “My oldest son Brandon had become really obsessed with dance music. He’s so into … Continue reading

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Katy Perry gets totally worked by ‘Sesame Street’

It’s one thing to be rejected by a record company. It’s another thing to be rejected by an audience. But by golly, if you get rejected by “Sesame Street,” you got worked. Really worked. Along with clips featuring Jude Law, … Continue reading

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William Shatner/Betty White sex tape? Ew.

Betty White Guess who just discovered the ultimate happy place? You’re welcome. Balls! It was a tease. Priceline negotiator William Shatner told Playboy in an interview that Betty White has “flexible” hips and “moves you wouldn’t believe.” Do I hear … Continue reading

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Fred Armisen and Elisabeth Moss divorce

After a prosperous 11-month Hollywood marriage, “Saturday Night Live” castmate Fred Armisen and “Mad Men” actress Elisabeth Moss are getting divorced. The Church (cough, Business) of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard told me at last night’s pyramid scheme happy hour … Continue reading

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Paris’ plea, puhlease

Paris Hilton pleaded guilty to drug possession on Monday for her August cocaine arrest in Vegas. Gosh, it seems like just yesterday that the felonious female was birthed out of my delinquent uterus. (I was a drunken, whorish toddler.) Anyway, … Continue reading

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50 Cent is ignorant

To whom it may concern (50 Cent), A Merriam-Webster definition of gay is: a homosexual. A Merriam-Webster definition of homosexual is: relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex. Same sex! … Continue reading

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John Mayer’s a Twitter quitter

John Mayer just dumped us the old-fashioned Hollywood way: He discontinued his Twitter account. Aw, hell. What are 3.7 million of us* to do now? Well, back to surfing porn all day. Oh, right. Working. Hang on to those blue … Continue reading

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Lady Gaga’s eau de toilet. Um, toilette

Lady Gaga is creating her own fragrance. It’s meat flavored with a hint of frogs. If you buy two bottles, you get a free butcher knife. Apparently her MTV Video Music Awards “meat” dress was real meat, according to Access … Continue reading

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Saint Michael Lohan

Michael Lohan, father of Lindsay, is going to open a “faith-based” rehab. He said God wants him to. Michael, didn’t you see God’s Facebook status last week? He said rehab is rubbish. Wait. Maybe that was mine…

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Bjork’s bad fashion

What do you get when you Magic Bullet blend a McDonald’s Grimace, a ’90s prom dress, MC Hammer and a Hobby Lobby? Whatever the shit Bjork donned at a Swedish award show Monday. Muddle Marilyn Manson in that disaster and … Continue reading

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