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Monthly Archives: August 2010
Snooki is a dirty drunk
Snooki (Nicole Polizzi) started dating some douche, Jeff Miranda, who she met at a club. Hey, I am just as surprised as you are that he didn’t mistake her for an Oompa Loompa. “Nicole is actually really cute and seems … Continue reading
Team Jacob circus warming up
Taylor Lautner, of “Twilight,” is at battle with some RV dealer dolt with pine-tree scented car fresheners marinating his brain. (That’s what the CT Scan told me last night at the bar.) Anyway, now it’s time to play let’s watch … Continue reading
Posted in Hollywood Headaches
Tagged Brent McMahon, Taylor Lautner, Team Edward, Team Jacob, Twilight
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Kat von D and Jesse James make an ugly couple
Jesse James and Kat von D are lovers these days. Dude. Have you seen that broad? She is not the most attractive person. Calm down, I agree she seems like a pretty cool chick and damn, the girl can draw. … Continue reading
Posted in Hollywood Headaches
Tagged couple, dating, Jesse James, Kat Von D, tattoo, ugly
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Paris busted for cocaine in Vegas
Good ol’ Pareeeee was busted for having cocaine in her purse in Vegas over the weekend. I’m almost as shocked as when I saw Lady Gaga in pants last week. Paris Hilton was with her herpes-flavor-of-the-week when cops detected “the … Continue reading
Courtney Love’s makeover
I wouldn’t exactly call it a makeover, Bob. (“Office Space,” laymen.) Courtney Love actually looks 75 percent better than she usually does. So I guess I won’t be that mean. However, I did just get a phone call from my … Continue reading
Chelsea Handler to host MTV VMAs
Sweet! Chelsea Handler will be hosting the MTV Video Music Awards Sept. 12. I want to be her when I grow up. Booze, sex and wit. I’ve got two of those and the other one only costs 12 bucks a … Continue reading
Sean Penn is looking sexy
Damn, Glenn Close grew some sideburns. Wait. That’s Sean Penn in Dublin shooting a scene for his new film, “This Must Be The Place.” Sexy? Um. Right.
Posted in Hollywood Headaches
Tagged Dublin, Glenn Close, Steven Seagal, This Must Be the Place
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Lady Gaga is ‘Twitter queen’
Six Grammy nominations, one of Time magazine’s most influential people in the world, 13 million albums and 51 million singles sold. So bloody what. Lady Gaga is now reigning “Twitter queen,” as she calls herself. Yeah. Take that. She just … Continue reading
Posted in Hollywood Headaches
Tagged 5.7 million, Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, twitter queen
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Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren divorce
Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren have finalized their divorce. Dammit, I had such high hopes for that ideal pair. Well at least now he can go crazy in other womens’ pants. Oh. Wait. Nordegren initiated the divorce, according to court … Continue reading
Posted in Hollywood Headaches
Tagged divorce, Elin Nordegren, irretrievably broken, Tiger Woods
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Trailer park Hasselhoff
The roast of David Hasselhoff oozed a conglomeration of unadulterated Hollywood charm. Pamela Anderson, Jerry Springer and Hulk Hogan mocked their dear friend for his alcohol troubles and the infamous drunken cheeseburger video Sunday night on Comedy Central. Meanwhile, Kid … Continue reading