Right.

“I just passed my driving test. Took me 60 years, but I did it! For the first time in my life, I’m legal to drive, so watch out!” Ozzy Osbourne Tweeted. Praise Tom Cruise we don’t live in California. Wait. I think we do? Oh, nevermind, all those cars are just from California.

“Sex and The City 2” apparently wrote Miley Cyrus into the script for what appears to be one line of wit. Cyrus will appear in a scene with Kim Cattrall’s character, Sam, where they apparently fashion the same outfit. Cue Anthony (Mario Cantone) to ensue “hilarity”: “Mother of God! She is wearing the same dress [...]

Mariah Carey was babbling about the possibility of having children with hubby Nick Cannon. “I’d want to be in a position to handle that as well as possible,” she told USA Today. One question: Does a baby fit in that outfit? At least she can share her clothes with the newborn.

Only Britney Spearscan spend $3,000 at a store called Sugar Factory. Here’s the icing on the black tooth: The Las Vegas Mirage candy store reportedly sent $2,500 of merchandise to her hotel room after she already cleaned the place out. Britney, I’ll give you some candy for three grand. You wish. Not that kind of [...]

It’s the smeared bug corpse on the part of the windshield where the wipers don’t reach. It’s the broken molar the tongue uncontrollably grazes all damn day. It’s the person who utilizes the phrase “just sayin’” in every other sentence. Or even at all. It’s an unshaven Spencer Pratt. It’s Juliette Lewis in a jumpsuit. [...]

Khloe Kardashian has been boxing out the competition with the tabloids lately. The partying, the radio show, the reality series, the drag queens, the weight loss, the cocaine, the engagement. What? Since when does she even have a boyfriend? Rumor has it, Khloe and boyfriend of one month, Los Angeles Laker Lamar Odom, are enganged. [...]

The reports that have surfaced about David Hasselhoff being hospitalized Sunday night for excessive drinking are being shot down by a source close to the actor. The source told Access Hollywood that it was actually an ear infection that landed him in the hospital. You see, he was so wasted that he mistook his ear [...]

“The Hills” villian Kristin Cavallari said she has lost weight due to a stressful month. Stealing boyfriends, squandering money and being a bitch does take its toll on a body. Cavallari said she is too busy promoting her “reality” show to sit down and pig out. Her lack of eating has caused her to have [...]

Kendra Wilkinson’s hubby Hank Baskett was canned by the Philadelphia Eagles today to squeeze in the malicious Michael Vick. Apparently Vick is a stronger offensive player, despite Baskett having his best season ever last year. Well, Hank, once that baby comes out, try feeding it (and all the neighborhood pets) to rabid dogs, then you [...]