What is this?

Good luck with that.
The beauty queen filed a lawsuit today that she was fired as Miss California USA in an act of religious discrimination by pageant officials Shanna Moakler and Keith Lewis and they “had no tolerance for religious beliefs in their organization.”
Well you have no tolerance for human rights. Bam!

Pete Wentz’s songs’ daddy Patrick Stump (i.e. lead singer for Fall Out Boy), was arrested in Los Angeles for driving without a license.
It appears he was driving with an Illinois driver’s license.
SHAME ON YOU, BOY! Damn him to hell, for shit’s sake.
Stump was released on $15,000 bail.
“I didn’t want to give up my Illinois driver’s [...]

Comedian and TV host Chelsea Handler split with her longtime boyfriend and “Chelsea Lately” boss, Ted Harbert, sending him to a hotel.
Perhaps a hasty move? When does sleeping with the boss  prove *not* to be fruitful?
Rumor is circulating that Chelsea booted the 54 year old CEO of Comcast from the couples’ Los Angeles home [...]

Dear Paper Towels,
I am in dire need of your immediate assistance. I just threw up.
Sincerely,
Miss Hollywood Headaches.
Postscript: A dollop of Lysol would be super too — and perhaps some antibacterial gel.
Men: If you ever thought Kendra Wilkinson-Haskett was sexy and would fancy holding on to that image, might I suggest truncating this post.
“I was so [...]

Poor Jon Gosselin just wants to lead a normal life.
“I wish I had a 9 to 5 job instead of the nightmare I’m living. This is 24/7,” Gosselin told Us Weekly. “I don’t even want to do taping for the show anymore.”
Jon, do not tease me.
Oh, you totally would. Save that cartwheel, friends.
He said he [...]

A video of an seemingly intoxicated threesome of Grey’s Anatomy’s Eric Dane (Dr. “McSteamy”) his wife Rebecca Gayheart had former Miss Teen USA, Kari Ann Peniche has leaked online.
I’m going to say it: You people are idiots.
Sex tapes *always* get leaked online. Even if Pat Sajak and Al Roker taped a rendezvous, it would as [...]

MC Hammer is making a 20th anniversary “companion” album to his “Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em” released in 1990.
I’ve got to “Pray” just to make it through this post. Bear with me.
His hits such as “U Can’t Touch This” and “Pray” helped certify the album 10 times platinum.
He said the “companion” album (whatever the H [...]

Many in New Orleans have been sporting “Brad Pitt for Mayor” T-shirts this summer in jovial efforts of enticing the actor to run.
If he were mayor, Angelina Jolie would be refered to as the First Lady of the Big Easy.
That’s what it reads in the men’s room. Um.
Anyway, Pitt told NBC’s “Today” he doesn’t have [...]

Tyra Banks is ripping out her weave for the season premiere of “The Tyra Banks Show.”
I have personally tossed and turned scores of sleepless nights wondering what lay underneath those flowing locks.
Luckily, No. 2 on my things-to-see list can be scratched off. Now if only Brad Wollack and a grapefruit would procreate…
The supermodel will reveal [...]