Monthly Archives: July 2009

Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt back together

Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt are dating again. As we know, a dry spell in Paris’ world comes after a 14-hour hiatus. Doug still held the No. 1 spot on speed dial, so, bingo! Hugs and diseases dear friends.

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Heather Mills gets Kate Gosselin’s haircut

Bitch, please. This was Victoria Beckham’s haircut like 10 years ago. Nice try. Maybe Heather can braid Kate’s spikes while stashing any found cash around the house into her bra.

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We’ve got a bitch fight: Eminem and Mariah Carey fued escalates

On the table: Four free cocktails with yours truly in exchange for Eminem’s tongue. And by cocktails I mean PBRs. Hey, I’m a struggling journalist here. The rapper is retaliating at ex-girlfriend Mariah Carey in a new song “The Warning.” … Continue reading

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The Hills sixth season premieres Sept. 29

Soon the spectacle shall recommence. MTV’s “reality” hit, The Hills, is back for season six on Sept. 29. Adam Divello’s craftily-scripted plot will involve Kristin Cavallari’s “character” ruffling those designer feathers, after a basic admission of the drafted script: “Basically…they … Continue reading

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Fourth baby coming for Jude Law, as he knocked up some girl

In accordance with Jude Law’s quest to sleep with most of Britain and one-fourth of the U.S. of A., he has impregnated an ex, with the girl’s identity not yet revealed. Law’s spokeswoman said “following a relationship last year, Jude … Continue reading

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Madonna’s biceps are gross

The big guns just made an appearance and the police had to close off the corner of Sunset and Fairfax to clean up a mess of puke. It appears Madonna is training to take on some dinosaurs in the wrestling … Continue reading

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Lily Allen’s new jewelry line looks cheap

British singer Lily Allen is now a jewelry designer. And by jewelry, I mean Cracker Jack prizes. And by designer, I mean not even close. Her collection includes coin-sized smiley faces, flowers, fruit and animals that appear to have been … Continue reading

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Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush split

Perez Hilton reports Kim Kardashian and NFL player Reggie Bush have broken up, due to the couple not spending enough time together. “Reggie is not big into the Hollywood scene,” a source close to the pair told Perez. “He starts … Continue reading

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Tony Romo posts sign keeping Jessica Simpson out of his abode

Tony Romo posted the following message, for ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson, on his security gate: “RED ALERT!!! TONY ROMO HAS MADE SOME CHANGES TO HIS LIST OF PEOPLE ALLOWED IN … JESSICA IS NO LONGER ON THE LIST AND NOT APPROVED … Continue reading

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Jon Gosselin and Michael Lohan are like, totally BFFs

Jon Gosselin said he doesn’t want to have to explain photos to his kids (or ex) when they Google him. Oh, Jon. Dearest Jon. Perhaps this concern would have encountered more appropriate timing before the exploitation of said small children … Continue reading

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