Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt are dating again. As we know, a dry spell in Paris’ world comes after a 14-hour hiatus. Doug still held the No. 1 spot on speed dial, so, bingo! Hugs and diseases dear friends.

Bitch, please. This was Victoria Beckham’s haircut like 10 years ago. Nice try. Maybe Heather can braid Kate’s spikes while stashing any found cash around the house into her bra.

On the table: Four free cocktails with yours truly in exchange for Eminem’s tongue. And by cocktails I mean PBRs. Hey, I’m a struggling journalist here. The rapper is retaliating at ex-girlfriend Mariah Carey in a new song “The Warning.” Yawn. That’s right. I said mother fuzzin’ yawn. You slept together seven years ago. Super. [...]

Soon the spectacle shall recommence. MTV’s “reality” hit, The Hills, is back for season six on Sept. 29. Adam Divello’s craftily-scripted plot will involve Kristin Cavallari’s “character” ruffling those designer feathers, after a basic admission of the drafted script: “Basically…they want me to come in and start drama.” I bet. “Drinking, fighting, hooking up — [...]

In accordance with Jude Law’s quest to sleep with most of Britain and one-fourth of the U.S. of A., he has impregnated an ex, with the girl’s identity not yet revealed. Law’s spokeswoman said “following a relationship last year, Jude Law has been advised by the birth mother that he is to be the father [...]

The big guns just made an appearance and the police had to close off the corner of Sunset and Fairfax to clean up a mess of puke. It appears Madonna is training to take on some dinosaurs in the wrestling rink. And by dinosaurs, I mean Godzilla. She looks like a skeleton filled with Silly [...]

British singer Lily Allen is now a jewelry designer. And by jewelry, I mean Cracker Jack prizes. And by designer, I mean not even close. Her collection includes coin-sized smiley faces, flowers, fruit and animals that appear to have been sloppily lacquered on cheap gold. Save some money and screw around with that arm-claw game [...]

Perez Hilton reports Kim Kardashian and NFL player Reggie Bush have broken up, due to the couple not spending enough time together. “Reggie is not big into the Hollywood scene,” a source close to the pair told Perez. “He starts training camp this week and he asked Kim to move out to New Orleans and [...]

Tony Romo posted the following message, for ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson, on his security gate: “RED ALERT!!! TONY ROMO HAS MADE SOME CHANGES TO HIS LIST OF PEOPLE ALLOWED IN … JESSICA IS NO LONGER ON THE LIST AND NOT APPROVED FOR ACCESS.” Then the recess bell rang, so he had to clean up the mess [...]

Jon Gosselin said he doesn’t want to have to explain photos to his kids (or ex) when they Google him. Oh, Jon. Dearest Jon. Perhaps this concern would have encountered more appropriate timing before the exploitation of said small children for monetary gain. But not so fast critics! Everything is going to be just fine. [...]