After  having her tongue unstitched from boyfriend Doug Reinardt’s face for a quick minute, Paris Hilton took some time to bash “The Hills.”
“The show is, like, so lame and fake,” she told Us Weekly.
Stephanie Pratt is looking for an apology from the heiress.
“In real life (Doug) is friends with those boys, so it’s not fake. [...]

Oh, Katherine Heigl. You are no Marilyn Monroe. Nor Elizabeth Taylor. Not even a Julia Roberts.
You are more along the lines of, say, Leah Remini.  Or perhaps Kate Hudson. I’ll even go out on a limb and say possibly even Rachel McAdams. Don’t get too excited Kath, I said possibly.
See what I’m getting at? [...]

In Lindsay Lohan’s misshapen brain, she’s a luminary. In Asher Roth’s*, she’s annoying.
Lohan drove three hours from Los Angeles to see Asher Roth perform at UC Santa Barbara, reported New York Daily News. *gasp.*
Can a girl get some special treatment already!
“Lindsay was bugging both Asher and his management team to get onstage during ‘She Don’t [...]

Upcoming Broadway musical, “A Steady Rain,” is set to star Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig.
The play is about two cop friends in Chicago who — oh who cares? Did you hear what I just said?
Rumor has it, if they simultaneously remove their shirts on in the same room, your eyes will rigorously scream. No [...]

Ashton Kutcher’s panties got twisted  in a wad earlier this week. Well, technically they were Demi Moore’s, but that’s neither here nor there.
Twitter is rumored to be in the works for creating a reality show that would put “ordinary people on the trail of celebrities in a revolutionary competitive format,” reports Variety.
What did Ashton [...]

In a new online video with Bow Wow, Chris Brown defends himself.
“I’m about to drop a single this summer for y’all. We ain’t going nowhere. Everybody that’s haters, they just been haters.”
“All my real fans, I love you. I ain’t a monster!”
We never said you were a monster, just a wife beater.
P.S. Get a new [...]

Congrats Gosselins, you got 9.8 million viewers for the super-sized season 5 opener this week. So, that fake cheating at the expense of eight children paid off.
Kate, are you proud of your reverse mullet? Um, I mean self?
Now go back to your Juniata College frat house, Jon. We’re over you.
This “celeb” gossip BS makes me [...]

My favorite loudmouth, Chelsea Handler, recently knocked Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt down a few pegs.
“Spencer and Heidi were pitched last week,” saidHandler. “I told my talent booker to tell their publicists to f#@! off.”
Yeah!

A London street was testing out padded lampposts for distracted texters last year. According to a study, one in 10 people have been hurt while texting and walking.  Hmm.
The padding is pretty cush, as it was first tested in Lindsay Lohan’s neighborhood. You know, kinda like bumpers in a bowling lane.

Dear John Mayer,
Asking your mom to repeatedly put on lipstick and kiss your new white Hanes undershirt before a night out on the town does not fool us.
Post Script: We’re hoping her kisses were all above the belt. Dirty man.
P.S.S.: Be a doll and buy her a new tube of Revlon’s Rum Rasin after putting [...]